Antje Duvekot on life as a folk singer, her family and her music

November 11, 2007 Boston-based singer-songwriter Antje Duvekot has made a name for herself in the folk music world with powerful ballads of heartbreak and longing for a deeper spirituality, but coming up empty-handed. Below is David Shankbone's interview with the folk chanteuse.

'''David Shankbone: Tell me about your new album.
 * Antje Duvekot: It’s called Big Dream Boulevard and it’s the first studio album I made.  It’s not so new; I made it in May of 2006.  It’s produced by Séamus Egan, who is the leader of a fairly renowned band named Solas.

'''DS: You mentioned you used to explore more dark themes in your work, but that lately you are exploring lighter fare. What themes are you exploring on this album?
 * AD: In the future I am hoping for more light themes.  I feel like I have worked through a lot of the darkness, and personally I feel like I’m ready to write a batch of lighter songs, but that’s just how I’m feeling right now.  My last record, Big Dream Boulevard, was a pretty heavy record and that was not intentional.  I write what is on my mind.

'''DS: What were you going through that made it so dark?
 * AD: The record is drawn from my whole writing career, so it’s old and new songs as well.  I wasn’t going through anything in particular because it was spanning a wide time period.  I think it’s fair to say that over all I turn to music in times of trouble and need as a therapeutic tool to get me through sadness.  That’s why I tend to turn to music.  So my songs tend to be a little darker, because that’s where I tend to go for solace.  So themes like personal struggle with relationships and existential issues.

'''DS: What personal relationships do you struggle with?
 * AD: A lot of my songs are about dating and relationship troubles.  That’s one category.  But a lot of my songs are about existential questions because I struggle with what to believe in.

'''DS: Do you believe in a higher power?
 * AD: I’m sort of an atheist who wishes I could believe something.

'''DS: What do you believe?
 * AD: It’s undefined.   I think I’m spiritual in music, which is my outlet, but I just can’t get on board with an organized religion.  Not even Unitarianism.  I do miss something like that in my life, though.

'''DS: Why do you miss having religion in your life?
 * AD: I think every human being craves a feeling that there is a higher purpose.  It’s a need for me.  A lot of my songs express that struggle.

'''DS: Does the idea that our lives on Earth may be all that there is unsettle you?
 * AD: Yes, sure.  I think there’s more.  I’m always seeking things of beauty, and my art reflects the search for that.

'''DS: You had said in an interview that your family wasn’t particularly supportive of your career path, but you are also saying they were atheists who weren’t curious about the things you are curious about. It sounds like you were a hothouse flower.
 * AD: Yes.  I think what went with my parents' atheism was a distrust of the arts as frivolous and extraneous.  They were very pragmatic.

'''DS: They almost sound Soviet Communist.
 * AD: Yeah, a little bit [Laughs].  They had an austere way of living, and my wanting to pursue music as a career was the last straw.

'''DS: What’s your relationship with them now?
 * AD: I don’t actually speak to my mother and stepfather.

'''DS: Why?
 * AD: A lot of reasons, but when I was about 21 I was fairly certain I wanted to go the music path and they said, “Fine, then go!”

'''DS: That’s the reason you don’t speak with them?
 * AD: That’s the main.  “Go ahead, do what you want, and have a nice life.”   So the music thing cost the relationship with my parents, although I think there may have been some other things that have done it.

'''DS: That must be a difficult thing to contend with, that a career would be the basis for a relationship.
 * AD:Yes, it’s strange, but my love of music is perhaps stronger for it because of the sacrifices I have made for it early on. I had to fight.

'''DS: Would you say in your previous work some of your conflict of dating would have been birthed from how your relationship with your family? How do you see the arc of your work?
 * AD: My songs are sort of therapy for me, so you can trace my personal progress through them [Laughs].  I think there is some improvement.  I wrote my first love song the other day, so I think I’m getting the hang of what relationships are all about.  I’m ever grateful for music for being there for me when things weren’t going so well.

'''DS: Has the Iraq War affected you as an artist?
 * AD: Not directly, but I do have a few songs that are political.  One about George Bush and the hypocrisy, but it’s very indirect; you wouldn’t know it was about George Bush.

'''DS: How has it affected you personally?
 * AD: I feel sad about it.  People say my music is sad, but it’s a therapeutic thing so the war affects me.

'''DS: The struggle to be original in art is innate. When you are coming up with an idea for a song and then you all of a sudden stumble across it having been done somewhere else, how do you not allow that to squelch your creative impulse and drive to continue on.
 * AD: That’s a good question.  I started writing in a vacuum just for myself and I didn’t have a lot of feedback, and I thought that what I’m saying has been said so many times before.  Then my songs got out there and people told me, ‘You  say it so originally’ and I thought ‘Really?!’  The way I say it, to me, sounds completely trite because it’s the way I would say it and it doesn’t sound special at all.  Once my record came out I got some amount of positive reviews that made me think I have something original, which in turn made me have writer’s block to keep that thing that I didn’t even know I had.  So now I’m struggling with that, trying to maintain my voice.  Right now I feel a little dried-out creatively.

'''DS: When I interviewed Augusten Burroughs he told me that when he was in advertising he completely shut himself off from the yearly ad books that would come out of the best ads that year, because he wanted to be fresh and not poisoned by other ideas; whereas a band called The Raveonettes said they don’t try to be original they just do what they like and are upfront about their influences. Where do you fall in that spectrum?
 * AD: Probably more towards Augusten Burroughs because when I first started writing it was more in a vacuum, but I think everyone has their own way.  You can’t not be influenced by your experience in life.

'''DS: Who would you say are some of your biggest influences in the last year. Who have you discovered that has influenced you the most?
 * AD: Influence is kind of a strong word because I don’t think I’m taking after these people.  I’ve been moved by this girl named Anais Mitchell.  She’s a singer-songwriter from Vermont who is really unique.  She’s just got signed to Righteous Babe Records.  Patty Griffin just moves me deeply.

'''DS: You moved out of New York because you had some difficulty with the music scene here?
 * AD: I feel it is a little tougher to make it here than in Boston if you are truly acoustic folk lyric driven.  I find that audiences in New York like a certain amount of bling and glamor to their performances.  A little more edge, a little cooler.  I felt for me Boston was the most conducive environment.

'''DS: Do you feel home up in Boston?
 * AD:I do, and part of that is the great folk community.

'''DS: Why do you think Boston has such a well-developed folk scene?
 * AD: It’s always historically been a folk hub.  There’s a lot of awesome folk stations like WUMB and WERS.  Legendary folk clubs, like Club Passim.  Those have stayed in tact since the sixties.

'''DS: Is there anything culturally about Boston that makes it more conducive to folk?
 * AD: Once you have a buzz, the buzz creates more buzz.  Some people hear there’s a folk scene in Boston, and then other people move there, so the scene feeds itself and becomes a successful scene.  It’s on-going.

'''DS: Do you have a favorite curse word?
 * AD: [Giggles]  Cunt.  [Giggles]

'''DS: Really?! You are the first woman I have met who likes that word!
 * AD: Oh, really?  I’ll use it in a traffic situation.  Road rage.  [Laughs]

'''DS: Do you find yourself more inspired by man-made creations, including people and ideas, or nature-made creations?
 * AD: I love nature, but it is limited.  It is what it is, and doesn’t include the human imagination that can go so much further than nature.

'''DS: What are some man made things that inspire you?
 * AD: New York City as a whole is just an amazing city.  People are so creative and it is the hub of personal creativity, just in the way people express themselves on a daily basis.

'''DS: Do you think you will return?
 * In theory I will return one day if I have money, but in theory you need money to enjoy yourself.

'''DS: What trait do you deplore in yourself?
 * AD: Like anyone, I think laziness.  I’m a bit a hard on myself, but there’s always more I can do.  As a touring singer-songwriter I work hard, but sometimes I forget because I get to sleep in and my job is not conventional, and sometimes I think ‘Oh, I don’t even have a job, how lazy I am!’ [Laughs]  Then, of course, there are times I’m touring my ass off and I work hard as well.  It comes in shifts.  There are times there is so much free time I have to structure my own days, and that’s a challenge.

'''DS: When is the last time you achieved a goal and were disappointed by it and thought, “Is that all there is?”  Something you wanted to obtain, you obtained it, and it wasn’t nearly as fulfilling as you thought it would be.
 * AD: I was just thinking about the whole dream of becoming a musician.  I want to maybe do a research project about people’s dreams and how they feel about them after they come true.  It’s really interesting.  They change a lot.  When I was 17 I saw Ani Difranco on stage and I wanted to do that, and now I’m doing it.  Now I think about Ani very differently.  I wonder how long it took her to drive here, she must be tired; I’m thinking of all the pragmatic things that go on behind the scenes.  The backside of a dream you never consider when you’re dreaming it.  To some extent, having my dream fulfilled hasn’t been a let-down, but it’s changed.  It’s more realistic.

'''DS: What is a new goal?
 * AD: Balance.  Trying to grow my career enough to make sure it doesn’t consume me.  It’s hard to balance a touring career because there is no structure to your life.  I’m trying to take this dream and make it work as a job.

'''DS: How challenging is it to obtain that in the folk world?
 * AD: There’s not a lot of money in the folk world.  In generally right now I think people’s numbers are down and only a few people can make a living at it.  It’s pretty competitive.  I’m doing okay, but there’s no huge riches in it so I’m trying to think of my future and maintain a balance in it.

'''DS: Do you think of doing something less folk-oriented to give your career a push?
 * Not really, I’ve done that a little bit by trying to approach the major labels, but that was when the major labels were dying so I came in at a bad time for that. I found that when it comes to do it yourself, the folk world is the best place to make money because as soon as you go major you are paying a band.

'''DS: More money more problems.
 * AD: More money, more investing.  It’s a hard question.

'''DS: What things did you encounter doing a studio album that you had not foreseen?
 * AD: Giving up control is hard when you have a producer.  His vision, sometimes, is something you can’t understand and have to trust sometimes.  See how it comes out.  That was hard for me, because up until now I have been such a do it yourself, writing my own songs, recording them myself.

'''DS: What is your most treasured possession?
 * AD: I’d like to say my guitar, but I’m still looking for a good one.  I have this little latex glove.  [Laughs]  It’s a long story—

'''DS: Please! Do tell!
 * AD: When I was in college I had a romantic friend named David, he was kind of my first love.  We were young and found this latex glove in a parking lot.  We though, “Oh, this is a nice glove, we’ll name him Duncan.”

'''DS: You found a latex glove in a parking lot and you decided to take it?
 * AD: Yeah [Laughs].  He became the symbol of our friendship.  He’s disgusting at this point, he’s falling apart.  But David and I are still friends and we’ll pass him back and forth to each other every three years or so when we’ve forgotten his existence.   David surprised me at a show in Philly.  He gave Duncan to the sound man who brought it back stage, and now I have Duncan.  So he’s kind of special to me.

'''DS: If you could choose how you die, how would you choose?
 * AD: Not freezing to death, and not in an airplane, because I’m afraid of flying.  Painlessly, like most people.  In my sleep when I’m so old and senile I don’t know what hit me.  I’d like to get real old.

'''DS: Would you be an older woman with long hair or short hair?
 * AD: I guess short hair, because long hair looks a little witchy on old people.

'''DS: Who are you supporting for President?
 * AD: I’m torn between Obama and Hillary.  Someone who is going to win, so I guess Hillary.

'''DS: You don’t think Obama would have a chance of winning?
 * AD: I don’t know.  If he did, I would support Barack.  I don’t really care; either of those would make me happy.

'''DS: What trait do you value most in your friends?
 * AD: Kindness.

'''DS: What trait do you deplore in other people?
 * AD: Arrogance.  Showiness.

'''DS: Where else are you going on tour?
 * AD: Alaska in a few days.  Fairbanks, Anchorage and all over the place.  I’m a little nervous because I will be driving by myself and I have this vision that if I get hit by a moose then I could freeze to death.

'''DS: And you have to fly up there!
 * AD: Yeah, and I hate flying as well—so I’m really scared!  [Laughs]

'''DS: Is there a big folk scene in Alaska?
 * AD: No, but I hear people are grateful if anyone makes it up there, especially in the winter.  I think they are hungry for any kind of entertainment, no matter the quality.  [Laughs]  Someone came to us!  I actually played there in June in this town called Seldovia, that has 300 people, and all 300 people came to my gig, so the next day I was so famous!  Everyone knew me, the gas station attendant, everyone.  It was surreal.

'''DS: So you had that sense of what Ani DiFranco must feel.
 * AD: Yeah!  I was Paul McCartney.  I thought this was what it must be like to be Bruce Springsteen, like I can’t even buy a stick of gum without being recognized.

'''DS: Did you like that?
 * AD: I think it would be awful to be that famous because you have moments when you just don’t feel like engaging.