Comments:NHL: Vancouver Canucks showcase new uniform

New Uniform
Personally, I don't care about the team's uniform as much as the team's performance. It's a matter of time before they shed the AHL looking "VANCOUVER" however, for a less busy uniform/logo approach. The lettering is the only thing the team needs to clean up. At least one tradition is alive and well -- the tradition of supplying Vancouver fans with silly uniforms to look at.

Open Letter to Vancouver Canucks Fans
Open letter to Vancouver Canucks Fans:

There is nothing more frustrating than when a corporate executive digs in and starts to defend his misdeeds, horrible lack of judgement or outright failures. The ego and the brain starts to kick into to overdrive, combined with, in this case, The Vancouver Canucks massive resources and captive audience they hold over the Province of British Columbia, and you can just well imagine what is transpiring in the Corporate Bunker known as Orca Bay.

Chris Zimmerman, CEO of Orca Bay, has started to defend his creation, a new sweater, for your beloved Vancouver Canucks, with the same old tired and trotted out lines, “this is just a sign of intense fan passion and loyalty”, only the disenfranchised speak in instances like this”. I can only imagine that at this point, Mr. Zimmerman’s corporate lackies are suckling up to him, reassuring him he is right, he is great and all the other things Corporate Junior Hacks do to keep their paychecks. Mr. Aquilini is probably doing his best to support Mr. Zimmerman as well, I just pray somewhere in Mr. Aquilini’s brain, a seed of doubt has sprung in so far as “What exactly have we done” l realize that a lot of what has been said about these jersey’s is subjective, but what is fact, is that Mr. Zimmerman authorized $1,000,000 to end up with an design atrocity that can only be described as “Garage Sale Chic”.

When a design expert was interviewed about Mr. Zimmerman process of designing “The Bleached Whale”, John Carter, a graphic design instructor at Douglas College, called the redesign an "utter disappointment" and "the tawdriest type of cut-and-paste job." "Effective design requires clarity of purpose and visual unity, both of which are evidently lacking here," he wrote. Mr. Zimmerman, THAT is not subjective, you SHOULD have a hard time sweeping that under the carpet. The posthumous design model Mr. Zimmerman has weakly  put forth, that we had "design" paradigms, in so far as being Canadian, honouring our past in at best a horrible way to start an artist process, and at best, a cheap excuse for bad execution.

What is outrageously confusing is that Mr. Zimmerman comes from Nike, perhaps the most recognized corporate logo there is. Did one of his Corporate Junior Blow Holes not point out that no where is the word “Beaverton” splashed across the Nike Swoosh in some confusing psychotic way? One can wonder if Mr. Zimmerman has lost his mind, but in his industry, you are only as good as your last slogan or campaign, Mr. Zimmerman, right now you are not very good. Now that’s the bad news…There is some good that can come out of this. Remember, one ever went broke under estimating the stupidity of the general public, and right now, whether Mr. Zimmerman realizes it or not, your stupidity is his only hope. See, he watched as you complained and moaned about the price of gas at $1.29 per litre, you tried to do something about it, but were too lazy and then you got distracted. He remembers that some of you were so mentally incapacitated, that you continued to support Prime Minister Chrétien for refusing to put Hamas on a Canadian list of terrorist organizations because as he put it, “He was so impressed with their charitable wing”. As Mr. Zimmerman smugly defends his “Voice of Fire” in a toned vaguely reminiscent of Marc Crawford speaking after injection a canister of helium, he realizes that you will pay your hard earned money to line the pockets of his owner, Mr. Aquilini. That is sickening……

What else is sickening is, with the amazing amount of “amateur generated” sweaters, designed on the web. Mr. Zimmerman had the option of shelving his ego, paying $100,00 to one of the designers that would have rated much higher in focus groups, there were focus groups weren’t there, or are “We are all Canucks” whatever that means, simply refer to the fashion deficient Orca Bay family. The other $900,000 could and should have gone to making a difference to children at Canucks Place; you do remember Canucks Place, Mr. Zimmerman? So here is a positive counter measure to what has turned out to be a disaster. DO NOT BUY the new sweater. Mr. Zimmerman will tell you how important you are, but WILL not consider your opinion unless you stop giving him your hard earned money. Make $135 donation to Canuck Place for Kids instead. If you child asks you for a jersey, use this as an opportunity to teach them a life lesson much more important than getting what they want, when they want. Tell them about kids their age, less fortunate than themselves; make them feel good about giving instead of receiving. Everyone wins, your child gets a wonderful life lesson, you get a tax receipt, a sick child gets the help and support they so desperately need, and Mr. Zimmerman gets a message that he wouldn’t otherwise allow himself to get. Let them know that when Mr. Naslund goes on TV as says he likes the new sweaters that they shouldn’t believe everything they see on TV. Explain to them that when Mr. Vick said he wasn’t guilty, that sometimes the famous people we idolize say stupid things to protect their own money. As Mr. Zimmerman sits in his office, asking himself why everybody is reacting to his brilliance, in the same way the Lindsay Loren and Paris Hilton are wondering why people are saying the things they are about them, he may contemplate how sales will be affected. I as a rule so not shop for clothes on Water Street in Gastown, as I believe that tourist trap clutter and garbage shouldn’t be appealing to anyone. However, those purveyors of trinkets and tourist trash still continue to flourish. I suspect that Mr. Zimmerman has the magical idea of a bloke from Manchester, England asking a cashier if the #19 can be removed from the colorful garbage bag, and replaced with the number “2010”. I miss Brian Burke, now more than ever, not because of the Stanley Cup that he inevitably was going to win, but because he would have stood up to Mr. Zimmerman. I could only imagine Brian saying things like. "If we are ALL Canucks, GARY, why the hell don't you take the stick out of Johnny Canucks hand, and replace is with a goddamn squeegy", or at the very least "The Capitals got it right, what the hell is your problem". Mr. Zimmerman would have fired Mr. Burke, not for being one of the top 3 minds in all of hockey, but because Mr. Zimmerman ego wouldn't have been able to take the truth from Mr. Burke, the truth we all came to love and no miss.

In conclusion, if you were a Buffalo Sabres fan, would you purchase the new Buff-a-Slug jersey, ask yourself that, because the was a massive on line petition trying to reverse the same travesty we no find ourselves with. Problem is, what Mr. Zimmerman also knows, is that even with a massive push back, Buffalo's "Flying Hairpiece" jersey sales increased 900%. If you don’t take this opportunity to help sick children, make the world a better place and teach your child an invaluable life lesson by boycotting the new “Zimmerman Travesty”, I will. I will ridicule you or your child for enabling such bad decisions, impulses and ego made by Orca Bay and those who allow this opportunity to pass. I will start by telling your child his jersey is ugly, then kindly and gently give him the lesson that you refused to offer them. There is a boycott starting around Authentix and those outlets that carry the constipated whale and we will take Mr. Aquilini up on his statement of”not wanting the new jersey to be cash grab”. Mr. Zimmerman, it’s never too late to admit to your mistakes, this has everything to do on how you do your job, and nothing to do with blaming your bad judgment on fan passion, then sit back and rake in the cash.

michaelpopove@hotmail.com