Talk:Kansas City Chiefs athlete commits murder-suicide

Thoughts
Two items immediately eye-catching, both of which may be repairable by a reviewer during review. --Pi zero (talk) 17:18, 2 December 2012 (UTC)
 * The headline is a noun phrase, rather than a sentence. It should be a sentence in present tense and active voice, and describe the most important and unique thing about the focal news event for an international audience.
 * The first paragraph is too long and detailed for a lede. Sometimes this can be fixed by inserting a paragraph break after the first sentence, which is within the purview of a reviewer.

First off thank you, Pi zero for the review of this article. About using the template, sorry for using Jovan Belcher. I went with what I did due to Article layout in a nutshell but for any future contributions I will be sure to remember that change. As for the appearance of copying from Wikipedia, it was not done intentionally, apparent miswording on my behalf. As for the extra source, it was needed at first but as the other sources got updated its usefulness disappeared. --J36miles (talk) 21:57, 3 December 2012 (UTC)


 * Ah! Thanks for pointing out where you were guided to hardlink to Wikipedia; we're always on the lookout for bits like that in need of updating.  --Pi zero (talk) 22:05, 3 December 2012 (UTC)

Error in caption
The caption should say Belcher rather than Mckinley. Denverjeffrey (talk) 20:10, 6 December 2012 (UTC)
 * ✅ Thanks. --Pi zero (talk) 20:52, 6 December 2012 (UTC)