Talk:Soft drink foes cheer victory, lament remaining junk foods in schools

The original lead was superior to the current one.206.210.225.131 21:42, 8 May 2006 (UTC)
 * Just revert me, everyone else does :) But in seriousness, the reason I originally started in on the lead was to try to remove some 'ing' words, and more especially to remove the use of contractions. Best regards. -Edbrown05 07:28, 9 May 2006 (UTC)

Hello, First of all, thanks for your attention to my little story. I've seen your work and comments here and there around wikinews, and I appreciate your work and assistance to the wiki cause. I noticed that you changed "making plans" to "laying plans." Since I took English Literature in my American English classes, I recognize that people on that side of the pond lay plans, while over here we make them. You obviously think it is appropriate to change such regional flavors. On the other hand, I think I enjoy recognizing such differences in writing and think I would miss them if they were all edited out. But then, I ride an elevator, not a lift.

I think some of the other edits you performed also reflect a regional attitude. Your excising of contractions, for example, reflects a more formal tone often found in contintental writing, while we out here in the wild west prefer the more informal tone. Likewise, your disdain for "ing" words.

In journalism school, I was taught to write in an entertaining, informal way. When I worked for a daily newspaper in the San Francisco area, I was told to keep my stories "tight, light and bright.' Now that I teach journalism at a high school, I teach my students to write in the language of their readers, but grammatically.

It's interesting to see another point of view, as reflected in your editing, for which I am grateful.

Oops, I see that I'm not logged in again. I'm Prevail, or JLCourier. My real name's at the bottom of the story.24.5.224.240 00:01, 10 May 2006 (UTC)
 * We at Wikinews (well, at least myself) appreciate traditional journalism, however this is Wikinews and not a traditional current events journal. On Wikinews, we deny publication to an article if it doesn't represent each side of the situation equally. In recent days, that rule has been heavily enforced. Also, we are writing in mind that this will someday be used as a "time vault" to refer to current events of "back then," as opposed to being a source of entertainment. Focussing too much on entertaining the clientele is a common criticism of traditional news sources, and we at Wikinews would rather get the information straight in a neutral manner than entertain the crowds. — THIS IS M ESSED [[Image:R with umlaut.png]] OCKER (TALK) 00:09, 10 May 2006 (UTC)

Hello, Your opinion is a commonly held one, one with which I disagree. Effective communication of information is the goal, or at least mine. If the same information can be delivered in a monotonous, formal style or a dynamic, engaging style, then the dynamic, engaging style is preferable, because it is more effective in attracting and holding interest and, therefore, delivering information. This has nothing to do with "neutrality;" it has to do with readability.JLCourier 01:59, 10 May 2006 (UTC)


 * Read this, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's letter to George W. Bush (8 May 2006). Grammer isn't the issue, the news is. -Edbrown05 02:20, 10 May 2006 (UTC)

Hello, Thanks for the cite. That is very interesting reading. The writer paid careful attention to punctuation and grammar. Such attention tends to strengthen one's ethos. However, he misspelled "world" near the end.

Grammar helps us understand one another, even if one of us makes plans while the other lays them. But adherance to grammar rules, or ones about neutral point of view, should not result in some monotone, gray prose which mutes the individual voice of the writer. Don't you think Ahmadinejad would agree?JLCourier 02:46, 10 May 2006 (UTC)

US schools
All or just primary? I was under the impression that just primary. Does this include universities? Bawolff ☺☻ 22:05, 8 May 2006 (UTC)

James Logan School
It's good to see a school getting involved in writing news which can then be posted to Wikinews... Frankie Roberto 22:42, 8 May 2006 (UTC)