Talk:Storm causes Southern Californian residents to evacuate

OR
My OR is all after the quote by Beck minus the bit about the mountains. I am gathering this by looking out the window and I have an interview question waiting for a reply and will be sent to Scoop. — The New  Mikemoral  ♪♫ 00:31, 21 January 2010 (UTC)


 * I have seen the email and can tentatively confirm, although I would be happier if the original was left untouched with a note not to take the name outside of Scoop. Doesn't really matter, though; we trust you anyway. Blood Red Sandman  (Talk)   (Contribs) 12:37, 21 January 2010 (UTC)


 * I'll note that for the future. -- The New  Mikemoral  ♪♫ 23:26, 21 January 2010 (UTC)

First sentence
"The third storm since Monday in the Los Angeles County, California area has caused reasons for residents in burn areas caused by last summer's fires." This sentence does not make sense. Condensed, it reads: "Storm has caused reason for residents caused by fires" --SVTCobra 01:33, 21 January 2010 (UTC)


 * Will rewrite that. -- The New  Mikemoral  ♪♫ 01:34, 21 January 2010 (UTC)

Quotes
The selected quotes seem strange ... they are addressing the reader directly ... I guess this could be helpful if the audience was in the affected area, but Wikinews should keep a wider audience in mind. Those quotes could be summarized with a "residents are advised to ..."-type of paragraph. (also note the use of "yesterday" which may no longer apply. Cheers, --SVTCobra 01:49, 22 January 2010 (UTC)


 * ✅ Removed mayor's quote and switched to past tense. -- The New  Mikemoral  ♪♫ 02:06, 22 January 2010 (UTC)