Talk:Three die in Cornwall, UK caravan park of suspected carbon monoxide poisoning

Review reply
I'm afraid I must object to your review for the following reasons:
 * The first sentence of the lede is written in active voice.
 * I'm not sure if that third paragraph is "disjointed" as such; the article clearly attributed all of David Biggs' comments to him. In shortening the quotes, I have already tried to make the paragraph more concise.
 * As to whether or not times require the use of colons is subjective.
 * I don't think punctuation around quotes needs to be 'consistent' as such.
 * I don't believe that last sentence was confusing; I'm more confused by your instruction to "List the symptoms first". I placed a wikilink over the so as to allow readers from outside the UK to to click the link if they do not understand what it is, so they understand the relevance of the Gas Safe Register to the story.

in any case, one would have thought the article could have otherwise passed review if these minor issues had been addressed by the reviewer. -- Rayboy8 ( my talk ) ( my contributions ) 13:49, 24 February 2013 (UTC)


 * Just as an incidental curiosity &mdash; The practice I follow, picked up from some more senior Wikinewsie I think, is that UTC times don't use a colon.  --Pi zero (talk) 20:07, 24 February 2013 (UTC)

Editprotected
editprotected Could you please add Category:Ryan Peteranna (Wikinewsie), it seems I neglected to do so myself. -- Rayboy8 ( my talk ) ( my contributions ) 16:56, 24 March 2013 (UTC)
 * Done. --LauraHale (talk) 03:03, 25 March 2013 (UTC)