Talk:UN Report on Global Warming calls for rapid 'unprecedented' changes globally to limit planetary warming to 1.5 degree C

This is the talk page for IPCC Global Warming report SR15 calls for rapid "unprecedented changes" globally to limit planetary warming to 1.5ºC: failure to do so would result in far-reaching consequences as soon as 2030'. It is my first news article. I welcome comments, concerns, content, contributions, guidelines. Oceanflynn (talk) 16:53, 8 October 2018 (UTC)

Please note that I have changed the title to "UN Report on Global Warming calls for rapid "unprecedented changes" globally to limit planetary warming to 1.5ºC" when I sent it to review.Oceanflynn (talk) 18:19, 8 October 2018 (UTC)

The 'unprecedented changes' are not detailed...
...in the article body. It maybe would be nice for the reader to know what they are. --Gryllidamsg/chat 02:07, 9 October 2018 (UTC)

Oceanflynn thanks for expanding. There are two kinds of bias: by vagueness ("far-reaching consequences" are not detailed) and by one sided (IPCC views are stated but comments or reactions of independent authors, researchers, governments are not). Maybe this needs to be addressed. --Gryllidamsg/chat 04:04, 9 October 2018 (UTC)

Thoughts
I'm not sure whether or not I'll be able to review this tonight (I'm in the US), but here are some preliminary thoughts. --Pi zero (talk) 02:43, 9 October 2018 (UTC)
 * Seems to me the UN needs to be mentioned in the lede (per the previous review).
 * The second paragraph mentions the Paris Agreement, but doesn't explain what that is. A news article should be able to stand on its own; the readers shouldn't have to click on a wikilink to understand the article.
 * The length is now marginal. Adding a few words of explanation about the Paris Agreement would help.  Addressing the question Gryllida mentions above would also help.

Oceanflynn, thanks for the concise text. I remarked on bias issues above, and here are several style remarks.

 * Use shorter sentences. I'd split the leading paragraph in two:


 * Current version:
 * The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC)'s, convened by the United Nations organizations in 1988 to provide robust scientific information to global leaders, released its Special Report on Global Warming of 1.5ºC (SR15), on October 8, 2018, during its 48th session held in in Incheon, South Korea, called for rapid "unprecedented changes" globally to limit planetary warming to 1.5°C (2.7°F), saying failure to do so would result in far-reaching consequences as soon as 2030.


 * Proposed version:
 * The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), a part of United Nations since 1988, released its Special Report on Global Warming of 1.5ºC (SR15), on October 8, 2018, during its 48th session held in in Incheon, South Korea . In this report, the panel called for rapid "unprecedented changes" globally to limit planetary warming to 1.5°C (2.7°F) . It said that failure to do so would result in far-reaching consequences as soon as 2030.


 * (Here I also attempted to shorten and make more precise the description of the IPCC. Maybe there is a better way to do this...)


 * Quote? Is the 'far-reaching consequences' phrase verbatim? If yes, it needs to be quoted. If not, it may need to be quantified more exactly.


 * Might need to use active voice where possible. I am not sure where it is documented, in the style guide it says this requirement only about headlines but I think it is recommented for the article body as well.

--Gryllidamsg/chat 04:36, 9 October 2018 (UTC)

Attribution?
Quote:


 * Without an increase in current climate change initiatives, by 2030 with 1.5°C, coral reefs will decline by 70–90% and be completely lost at 2ºC. The Climate change adaptation and mitigation projects taking place need to be "upscaled" and "accelerated" with far-reaching and multi-level "transitions in land, energy, industry, buildings, transport, and cities".

This may reads out as a part of the Wikinews article -- as if Wikinews itself believed these things were true. To avoid confusion I would add 'according to the report', 'reportedly', 'as indicated in the report', 'the report suggested', and the like.

--Gryllidamsg/chat 05:06, 9 October 2018 (UTC)


 * Thanks Gryllidamsg/chat and good night.Oceanflynn (talk) 05:35, 9 October 2018 (UTC)

Review of revision 4437700 [Passed]
Thanks Pi zero for catching all instances of direct quotes. I wasn't able to do this earlier today (don't have dupdet tools installed on this PC and have several meetings today) though I am hopeful that whatever I did may have improved things a little. Gryllida (chat) 04:53, 10 October 2018 (UTC)

Thanks Pi zero and Gryllida. I am grateful to have worked on my first WikiNews article with such knowledgeable, helpful, and patient editors.Oceanflynn (talk) 15:28, 10 October 2018 (UTC)