Thread:Comments:Australian Muslim killed by her hijab in go-carting accident/Comments from feedback form (2)/reply (8)

Interesting. What would you write differently if you were writing this article now? (Let's set aside how you would conduct the after-publication conversation differently.) Looking at this now, I'd say the headline would have been improved by replacing the word "Muslim" with "woman", but nothing else about it wanted changing; the religion isn't relevant, but the hijab is the material instrument of injury and is therefore obviously relevant (unlike the preposterous, and offensive, comparison made by the 'insightful criticisms' of the IP, since in the hypothetical rape headline the apparel mentioned isn't the material instrument). In the body of the article, I might change three words: first two words from "A Muslim" to "An Australian", and remove the ninth word of the lede (and remove the associated wikilink), so it'd read "An Australian woman has been killed by her apparel during a freak go-cart accident". I see no possible difficulty with the mention late in the lede of "twisted her flowing hijab".