Thread:Comments:Sydney plans loss of rainbow/Insane/reply (2)

My understanding is that "queer" refers to anyone who does not completely and always conform to the "marriage norm". The marriage norm states the rights and duties of a mated male and female, states that all should marry, and states that sexual behaviors outside of that context are perversions, i.e. immoral. Depending upon the culture, the marriage norm also includes sanctions to enforce conformance.

Taking this definition as given, "sexually normal people who are not married" are queer. Note also that ALL of us are queer, since practically none of us conforms perfectly and always to the marriage norm.

I speak of "the" marriage norm, which is an abstract general version of the various marriage norms that exist or have existed in human culture. The abstract concept is useful to the extent that the various norms are essentially similar, with the differences being unimportant.

Words are powerful things, and taking care to understand, and to agree upon, what they mean will eliminate a lot of the "us versus them" thoughts and feelings when discussing gender and sexuality.

We are all queer. We differ only in degree.