User talk:Melissa Carlton

-- Wikinews Welcome (talk) 11:17, 4 March 2012 (UTC)

Hodgetts makes it a Tassie trio for London 2012 Paralympic Games
I'm keen to put forward some suggestions whilst you're still working on this and haven't submitted it for review.

First and foremost, I think you need to work on the lede; answer as many of the WN:5W&H as possible in two, or three, sentences and view the opening paragraph as "the sizzle that sells the steak". Look at the opening paragraph as how the article may be introduced as a lead on the Main page, and as the pitch which encourages people to click through and read the whole thing.

I am, most definitely, not a sports fan; and, for reasons I'll not go into, have been largely offline for the last 3-4 months. But, I started back on-project with reviewing Kosmala's 2012 Games inclusion highlights Australian Paralympians' longevity, enjoying both sub-editing and reading the article. For me it ticks all the boxes of an outstanding sports article (the main one being that it has enough interesting 'stuff' that someone who nominally hates sports enjoyed reading it).

I like to think Wikinews allows good contributors to inject some subject-enthusiasm into their articles, such is what really sets the project apart from The Other Place; and, whilst the pressures of contributing here over the long term do indeed lead to burn out, you can point friends and family at articles you've authored which are far more accessible (and listed on Google News).

Keep working on your submission, but don't let it go stale. --Brian McNeil / talk 09:24, 9 June 2012 (UTC)
 * I've given the article a failing review on style. There are simply too many points which need addressed to actually do the work on bringing the article up to scratch. I know this may seem unfair, but the better quality your subbed copy is, the faster it will get through the review process. It is a challenge to get an article published on Wikinews, and we're "perversely proud" of that fact.


 * If nobody has worked on this in the next 6-12 hours, I'll go over it. But, I have other personal stuff to deal with and can't, currently, spent 3-4 hours on switching it from Wikipedia to Wikinews style (sorry!) --Brian McNeil / talk 09:42, 9 June 2012 (UTC)


 * Ah, didn't see your feedback before I submitted the article for review. Thanks for your comments, best way to learn! I'll have a go at re writing the story and see how it goes.Melissa Carlton (talk) 10:45, 9 June 2012 (UTC)

Hi. I did a re-review of the article. Found it not-ready, but tried to write really extensive reivewer's comments. We all know the initial learning curve for Wikinews is quite steep, though thankfully short, so we try to help folks up it as best we can (and are always looking for better ways to do so). Review comments here. --Pi zero (talk) 13:52, 11 June 2012 (UTC)

I've moved the article to a sub-page of your userspace, per the comments left on Pi zero's talk effectively admitting it's abandoned. So, it's now at User:Melissa Carlton/Hodgetts makes it a Tassie trio for London 2012 Paralympic Games. I'll quickly go through it and take it out of categories. That way you'll retain the feedback from the failing review. --Brian McNeil / talk 13:57, 12 June 2012 (UTC)

Australian Paralympic cycling team officially revealed for London 2012
After all the time this article patiently waited for review, I pushed through the entire process, as far as I possibly could, to try to pick up everything I could provide feedback on. I've already consulted with another reviewer (post review) about some of the points in the review; they may have a somewhat different take on the "verification" aspect, but I suspect the answer might come out similarly, with more emphasis perhaps on the adequacy of the OR notes (which are not 'detailed notes', essentially just 'I was there, and the facts are right') and less emphasis on the single-source issue. (I almost didn't check the verification box, leaving it all on style.) Anyway, see the, as well as my long-winded review comments. --Pi zero (talk) 21:23, 13 June 2012 (UTC)