Wikinews:Bad jokes and other deleted nonsense/American Government Overthrown in Coup D'Etat

June 10, 2006

Earlier today the United States government was overthrown in a coup d'etat by the sell-out pop-punk band, Green Day. Former President George W. Bush has reportedly left the country and is enroute to Bermuda, where he is expected to be met by British Prime Minister Tony Blair. Vice President Dick Cheney is reportedly in an undisclosed location, but that shouldn't surprise anybody.

The junta led by Billie Joe Armstrong has reportedly ordered the military loyal to the former government to disband and lay down their arms. He has also ordered the police force to arrest all the members of Congress and to have them expelled from the country indefinitely. In an address made following the take-over of the White House, Armstrong made the comment that the Constitution will be given to Reprise Records and that the flag will be redesigned to be similar to the Canadian flag, however it will be green instead of red and have a marijuana leaf located in the center rather than a maple leaf.

British Prime Minister Tony Blair gave an address following the report of the overthrow. When asked what he thought of the newly established junta, he responded, "They're a bunch of posers! We know what real punk is!" In retaliation for the comment, the Green Day regime has declared an economic embargo of the United Kingdom and has deployed the Navy to blockade the coast.

Reaction has been varied. "Dammit! Why did they have to do this!" an emo kid cried out while sobbing, "Why couldn't Hawthorne Heights or Armor for Sleep have pulled it off!?" However, many young women aged 8 to 14 have had much more positive reactions. "I don't know what a coup is.... but Billie Joe is really hot," said Minnie Tweed, a seventh grader at Milton High School in Nebraska. Others have been much more hostile, such as Russell Smitty, a true punk, who simply replied, "Fuckers!" when asked what he thought of the situation.

However, regardless of the views toward the regime, the newly established law stating that every citizen must purchase a copy of Bullet in a Bible has caused increased sales exponentially.